I’m not the kind of guy anyone wants to ‘date’. I am the kind of guy you settle down with. At least that’s what one girl told me a long time ago. Maybe it’s true, I am a creature of habit, I like to schedule and plan things out for the week ahead, I plan on what days to do laundry, when to do the chores, I keep a rigorous calendar; and enjoy the domestic arts; I love cooking, card/board games, getting up early to make coffee or breakfast; and want to know what I’ve got planned for the day. I don’t handle uncertainty well; so, when it comes down to ‘maybe‘ or ‘I’ll text you later‘ that fuzzy logic doesn’t really compute. If I hear a maybe I’m already making up scenarios as to what I think that maybe becomes a yes. If I think there’s a chance you’ll actually text me later, I get antsy when it doesn’t happen. I’m not saying I sit by the phone, and wait for it, but I’m easily swayed to disappointment when I’m left wondering why I wasn’t worth the commitment of time or effort to just say yes, or no. Maybes aren’t a yes, they’re more of a no, without having the guts to say no. I’ll let you know isn’t a yes either, it’s a ‘I can’t commit to saying No now, we’ll just have to wait until after the option is too late to just say ‘oh well’.
If it’s not a yes, or no, it’s somewhere in that grey area in between. If it’s not a fuck yes, then it’s a fuck no. I don’t want to hear a non-committed statement that leaves me waiting or wondering why or why not. Don’t say we should do things in the future, because I’ll put that option on my plans. “Oh! let’s go see that movie when it comes out! “.. “yeah! that would be great! “.. and then when the movie comes out, you’ve already made plans to see it with others, or just can’t make the time to go.
Do me a favor, just don’t get my hopes up. I should be used to getting let down, but I’m ever optimistic about what possibilities might be.
I want to make plans, with someone who wants to make plans. More importantly, I want to make plans with someone who wants to spend time with me. No more grey areas.