Recently, my parenting skills were called into question. I had a good hand it raising my nieces for a few years while my sister and i were living together after her divorce; and i thought i did a pretty good job of fostering a good sense of self for them both; at least the eldest; whom has grown into a really amazing woman. She’s strong, outspoken, not afraid to show who she really is, and has a twisted sense of humor (just like her uncle).
My eldest niece never ceases to amaze me with how well thought out and opinionated she can be; she posts things on facebook and comments thoughtfully about women’s rights and politics. She’s proud of who she is, and i’m extremely proud of that.
I want that for my daughter. I don’t want her to be afraid to express herself, I want her to know what she wants out of life, and not afraid to go for it.
I didn’t intentionally direct my daughter to be a tomboy. I let her express a thought or want, and i encourage it. I will suggest a movie or a tv show i think she might like; and she dives in. She’ll ask me thoughtful questions about shows and animations that shes interested in, and i answer to the best of my ability. I’ve tried to keep a cap on how comfortable i get with being her friend, but i REALLY want to allow her to explore and find things she’s interested in on her own.
Every day, she surprises me with questions, or new information about something she’s getting into. and i am happy that she’s able to find something that makes her happy and fulfills that desire for more.
I want my daughter to be who she wants to be, i really don’t want to mold her into what i expect her to be. If she decides that she likes girls; great, i’m totally supportive. More than anything, i want my daughter to be happy. and i hope i’m able to foster that feeling of being a complete human being.